I guess some days are easier than others. I never really have bad days, but today has been tough walking through because of a list of reasons. The list entails being ministered to by a homeless 16 year old girl last night, all the way to having very minimal communication with my girlfriend.
The detailed list is as follows:
1. Not living close to Heather (girlfriend)
2. Walking through not being the YA intern anymore
3. Having a brother get out of jail and not knowing how to handle it
4. Curious and praying about attending a church plant in Keller, TX
5. Meeting a 16 year old homeless girl
6. Not being able to talk to Heather (dumb cell phone)
Now, if I could change just one thing on this list it would be number 6. You see, if I could just talk to Heather about 1-5 then I think that her voice could help soothe my emotions. This presents a problem for me though. If Heather can be the solution to my life whenever I am in need of some type of restoration, then what do I need Christ for? I am not saying that I would ever sit at Heather’s feet and proclaim her to be equal or greater than Christ, but what I am saying is in the 2 short months of Heather and I falling in love I have made her an idol. I have made it to where she can fix problems in my life, and I not only made her capable, I have entrusted her to do so on a few occasions.
God is very clear on what He thinks about His children worshiping idols. I have taken a step back and feel as if I need to put my hand over my mouth. The uncreated God who I have sworn my allegiance to handles idol worshiping with severe consequences. Not only that, there is no way that Heather could ever “fix” anything in my life. Please hear this: Heather is the best thing that has ever happened to me outside of salvation, and I plan on loving her and marrying her if that is what God has planned for our lives. However, if I place her among the company of a God who breathes out stars, then I am setting her up to fail.
Now this is a hard day to walk through like I said before. I will choose today to walk with my problems in the hands of a God that demands my worship. It is not as if God is up in Heaven saying “worship me or die”, but His faithfulness, love, and power are so great that the only reaction to them is our surrender and obedience. When we live a life based on surrender and obedience to Yahweh then I think we are living a life that worships God. When my problems are surrendered to a God that breathes out stars then I start to realize that He has my best interest in mind. Also, I start to realize that my day is getting easier.
I have not said anything that is life changing, mainly because I have not shared any scripture. What I have shared is a basic concept that we as Christians try to make difficult. Sure, we can acknowledge Christ as our savior, but until we lean on Him for all of our needs we are actually worshiping idols, and we have not been saved from anything.
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