For me to show you how real God is, I will first have to show you the opposite me. I will simply do this by writing a detailed list of who I am not. The list is as follows:
- I am not an older brother
- I am not a 8-5 business employee
- I am not concerned with others
- I am not a good boyfriend
- I am not a rapper
- I am not confident
- I am not forgiving
- I am not honest
- I am not happy
- I am not free
- I am not going to amount to anything
- I am not focused
- I am not stable
When I turned 17 I started to realize that this list existed. I would not consider this a list at that time, but rather I would have considered it a lifestyle. Also, I would not have considered these things negative in anyway. In fact, I would have been drawn to, looked up to, and idolized people who thought they were a good thing. I made a lot of friends who felt the same way, and we journeyed through life together throughout most of our teenage years. When I think about how I ended up flat on my face I often wonder if they have been there yet. I wonder if they found love in the same place I found it.
You see, I started following Christ around the age of 17. I would have told you I was a follower before then, but I was not. I sit back and reflect on all of these things that I most definitely was not back then, and now I look at that list and say WOW! God has done so much in my life! I never once thought that a 20 year old pot head could live life like I am. This list started to shift from the words you read to a new list when I turned 17. This new list is who I was made to be, and who I enjoy being! The only thing is that God made me to be this way!!! God wants me to be:
- an older brother
- a 8-5 business employee
- concerned with others
- a good boyfriend
- a rapper
- confident
- forgiving
- honest
- happy
- free
- something
- focused
- stable
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