Go Help Ben!!

A great friend of mine attends Eternity Bible College in Semi Valley, CA.

One of her friends was in a horrific car accident.
Ben Suprunowski is in desparate need of your prayers.
Please follow the link to read the story about him and receive updates on his progress.
Also, you should donate to his family through the PayPal link at his site.

Funky Fresh

These are the lyrics to the single "Funky Fresh" which is available on Itunes now.

On this track like a savage; Sicker than your average

Llessur got the beats; From his vault we rock

Gonna chop and screw it better than DeWalt

The word became flesh, and you know its such bliss to me

Dying to myself; the old me is such history

Gotta be what Jesus wants of me

He sought me and fought for me

He eternally gets my gratuity

33 years that He walked this Earth

Keep in mind He created it first

I came from a powerful being

My ancestors did no tree swinging

But I'm gonna keep bringing

Praises to the king and

God I be needing

Devil keeps fleeing

Scriptures I am reading

Pride I aint keeping

My strength comes from God

You best believe its true

I'm stuck on Elohim like a ton of crazy glue

Lets get out of control; Stay funky fresh

Speak what I know; Get this off my chest

I’ve been assaulted and aggravated

Almost been decapitated

Enslaved by the man who defeated the grave

I roll with ex marines who dropped the gun and grabbed the Bible

Instead of world wars we wage it with revivals

This aint pride son; I have no need to brag

I will boast in Christ and His extraordinary swag

Loving less fortunate; Never half hearted

On a mission from my savior; Swag like a college kid

My strength comes from God

You best believe its true

I'm stuck on Elohim like a ton of crazy glue

Lets get out of control; Stay funky fresh

Speak what I know; Get this off my chest

Put your hands together one time

Put your hands together two times

Put your hands together one more time

Now airplane it out son!!

Hot Syrup

Yall get loud, cause I’m about to get crazy

The only reason that I’m proud is Yeshua saved me

He paid that late fee; Been changing me lately

When He’s in charge I feel so greatly

Lord I apree-ciate the new life you gave me

And of course your safety

Forget that 3^rd D; Yah heard me??

I’m gonna live out love even if it kills me

F-O-L-L-O-W; All man and All God

He lived as a perfect Hebrew

Forget those cars; You can keep all that ice

I’m gonna pattern my heart after the Christ

This aint my life; ISEI don’t matter

Dying everyday; Present me on a platter

Notice I didn’t say serve me

Love can’t self seek

Stay locked on 1^st Corinthians 13

Pick up the phone; Call your mom; Call the cops

This planes going down; These flames are getting hot

Gasping for air, unprepared, running scared

I lived through it too, Homie, I promise I’ve been there

On my Luke 9; That’s what I’m about

Listen then speak; Gotta keep a slow mouth

Live to serve others; Yeah, pour my guys out

East or west coast, even in the dirty south

Mimic Octopus; Pops taught me to adapt

Class act or a hood cat; Matt 25 is where I’m at

If the least if Jesus; I’m gonna serve the last

Got my sword on me; Yah know I stay strapped

Pick up the phone; Call your mom; Call the cops

This planes going down; These flames are getting hot

Gasping for air, unprepared, running scared

I lived through it too, Homie, I promise I’ve been there

Kicking it, ripping it, hitting, and spitting it

Talking about love; Yeah, I’m learning about living it

I got this beat up in my chest

Savior may this track be blessed.

John 3-3-0; Please know it’s not a show

The devil stays on the prowl

Searching for somehow to devour my flesh and my bones

I hear from beyond “My son your not alone; this is not your home”.

Rehearsed Prayer < Surrendered Life

            The most detrimental opposition to the spreading of the Gospel is people who bowed their head, said the sinner’s prayer, and then raised their head and were the same person.  They then proceed to label themselves as Christians throughout the rest of their life without ever truly changing behavior, habits, and ownership of their life.  They act as if the prayer is what holds, enables, or allows their salvation.  The way I see salvation being obtained is not through the words of a rehearsed prayer, but rather I see it being obtained through the Christ centered behaviors, patterns, practices, and actions in a surrendered life.  Granted, if a prayer could just take care of this problem that we all have with sin it would be a lot easier, but I believe that the Church in America is seeing the fruits of that line of thought in this present day.

We can blame the younger generation’s utter disregard for the Church on mankind being dark, but I think we must first look inward instead of pointing fingers at Adam and Eve.  If you have a problem with how many people who are 30 and under would rather give God the finger than give Him their life; I want you to consider this.  When thinking of the local body that you attend do you honestly believe that they have shown unconditional love to the community that you are located in?  Another way of asking that question is this: If that same local body were to one day disappear would the sick, poor, pregnant teenagers, elderly, single mothers, or “least of these” even know they were gone?  Let’s get more specific.  Would those people know you were gone?

Representation

            I enjoy writing, performing, and listening to hip hop music.  Hip hop and rap have always fascinated me.  When I first examined this type of music I saw 2 of my most loved forms of art colliding together and making something beautiful when they meshed.  Whether it is Jay-Z, Lecrae, Eminem, Tedashii, Trip Lee, or Sho Baraka I can honestly just dissect, examine, and take in every piece of sound, information, or feeling that the artist expresses.  When I lay in bed at night I think about specific styles of every artist.  I lay awake and also ponder specific parts of songs, albums, or writings. 

            Me being this involved in hip hop I tend to let people know about my favorite music, atmosphere, or lifestyle without even trying.  Most people can just tell what I am about within a few moments of meeting me.  They either hear me rapping to myself, talking about something, listening to something, or reading something that has to do with hip hop. 

            I attend church at Trinity Bible Church.  You could label TBC as the least hip hop church in America and you would not be far off from the truth.  Most of the people that I am close with at TBC would probably base their opinion on hip hop off of something I have shown them or something I have told them.  Not that I am an expert, but I am probably the most learned real live human in the avenue of “hood” that they personally know.  It makes sense for them to base their views towards me. 

I don’t say any of that stuff to be cocky.  I honestly say it as a reciprocation of how I work.  If I know someone personally who is an amazing cook I am going to ask them their opinions, suggestions, or ideas on situations that arise in my life that have to do with cooking.  Why wouldn’t I?  I have seen them reading books, perfecting recipes, or smelled them after they were performing on their stage (aka kitchen).

I would say that it is just a normal action of humans to gain their opinions on specific hobbies, lifestyles, or trends from the other humans they know that acquire those things in their life.  I am going to take this on a negative route.  I am scared to death of snakes.  When I was in 7^th grade I spent a lot of my time with a good friend of mine named George Gonzalez.  George had gotten bit by a snake and he was always very cautious that it never happened to him or one of his friends again.  I would often ask him questions about when he was bit, and the horror stories that ensued were almost too much to believe.  He told me about how sharp the fangs were, how quick the head moved, and how sick he was after the venom set in.  Because of George and his hatred for snakes, I would say I now have an unhealthy fear of snakes. 

Let’s bring this back to positive town now.  If you were to ask me a question about hip hop I would try and give you the most educated answer I could.  You would probably leave our conversation, encounter, or time together impacted positively in reference to hip hop.  I would not try and change your personal favorite style of music, but you would definitely hear about my favorite type music. 

Whatever we as people claim to know about, spend our time doing, or label ourselves as we must also take the responsibility of representing that same thing in the correct light.  If we twist, distort, or mislead people then all we are doing is being untrue to ourselves and untrue to the lifestyle, genre, or trend we are representing.  If I walked into TBC and started describing a Savage Garden album as hip hop people would be confused as to what hip hop really is.  After all, here is this guy that labels himself as a rapper, and so he must know that this terrible 90’s music falls into the genre of hip hop.

Now, just because I say Savage Garden is hip hop does not change their music.  My words will not make the song “Truly, Madly, Deeply” bump in any set of subs.  However, what did happen was now there are church member across my sanctuary that will hate hip hop music because they actually hate 90’s love songs.  Their entire view of this music is based off of misleading information.

I would say that is why most people under the age of 30 get a terrible taste in their mouth when they hear the name of Jesus Christ.  They see all of these people calling themselves Christians, going to church on Sunday, and hanging out in the youth group.  Then they see those same people at school, on the football field, or at the movies acting completely different than what they did when their parents, pastors, or other adults were around.    

Blasting Like You've Never Owned a Canoe

Life was about me, myself, and I

Gettin’ girls and staying high

Dressin’ nice; I looked so fly

Livin’ large; I was never gonna die

817; I repped my hood

Stayin’ fit; Man, I looked good

Pleasing myself was the only thing that I ever truly understood

Christ came knocking harder than a train wreck

Changed my heart; That’s one safe bet

Me doing me only lead to untruth

I found love in Acts chapter 2

That’s how we are supposed to function (Already)

Know that anything else is all deadly

Safe to call it bodily

My Paul calls it community

John 17 calls it unity

I gotta spit this truthfully

Go on and do what you want to do with me

You better never forget that I belong to the King

He who rules eternally

Also guides my life consistently

He picked me before time begun

He’s the daddy to forgotten sons

That’s why when my praises are sung

It’s to an audience of one

I gotta give it all, man, not just some

Everybody loud now, at the top of your lungs

If you feeling the King

Bounce with this Anthem

I used to stay so high

Now I stay so clean

Living like 1531

Straight out of 1^st Corinthians

“My life is one long death”

I’m called by the King of kings

Yeshua owns this life

It’s a total offering

Call me a zombie

You can say that I’m resurrected

If Jesus is a disease

I’m infected, selected, and perfected

All my flesh: NEGLECTED

TO THE GRAVE IT’S BEEN DIRECTED

I’m gonna be spotless when by God I am inspected

I get so crunk thinking about where my Love is seated

I love it when I think about that devil gettin’ decleated

I love it how I know Eloheim is the one who treated

The biggest loss of all to Luci when he got defeated

I would still follow Christ if His commands got even stricter

He could bid me come and die; death would be my mission

I would still choose this freedom if Heaven wasn’t in the picture

The old me drop dead so fast it registered on the Richter

Even the Bad Times...

I often wonder what David felt like after he did the deed with Bathsheba.  I know that David was “a man after God’s own heart”, and that is what makes this story so interesting to me.  I am so blown away by God’s provision, forgiveness, and love for a man who was given so much.  When I think about it, I find hope that such a “big mistake” was forgiven.  It gives me hope, comfort, and rest.  Who would have ever thought that the picture that King David was painting with his life would produce such a glorious feeling for me.  The most peaceful feeling for me came out of a time of turmoil going on inside the life of the King of Israel.  Only God could make a story of sin produce such a lively feeling in me. My “big mistake” (mistakesssssss) looks nothing like David’s, but I pray that my life may look, resemble, and have the same type of encouragement that his life holds. 

“God, I will never realize all the ways you can use just one life like mine, but I pray that I may constantly seek after you.  Even when I fall, may I arise, stand up, and continue my race in a way that would honor you and encourage others.  Lord, teach my heart to crave what is good, perfect, and honorable.” 

Just so you all know, the follow scripture is a peek into how King David felt when the prophet Nathan called him out:

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar.”  Psalm 51

Last Night Was That Loveless...

Last night was a mistake.

Oh my mistaken and shaken traits

They end up solving my equations.

My product screams of confusion.

Why are you not standing at my conclusion?

What other forms of liquid must flow from this contusion.

I’m loosing.  I down, dead, and de-elevated.

Jerked around, displayed, and paraded.

My pride and sin fell in love and then mated.

Death! Death! Death is what they named the baby.

In steps light and freedom soon follows.

“But Savior, I’m broken…” while I keep my eyes low.

“My Son, you’re forgiven…” while adjusting His broken bones.

It’s an uncomforting picture.

It has been painted in scripture.

Don’t church up the crucifixion.

His body was horrific so I could be forgiven.

So that Jesus image that was constructed

From soldiers’ torturing being productive

That’s what I felt like last night.

Last night was that loveless.

That death that he felt,

Was the same death that was dealt

Last night was that loveless.

This morning held more forgiveness.

New Song...

NorthernLights

Leave your pride behind and rock that body

Throw your hands up high and rock your body

Community! Living out the body.

We about to kick it sawed off shotty.

I’ve been here time and time again.

I’m laying down in a hole face first in the sand.

Satan the abuser, accuser and loser,

He started with the tempting then I did the choosing.

Beast to say the least, It’s proven in my bruises.

He hates it when I King perusing.

He knows what He’s doing, not bothered by beliefs.

As long as I’m not loosing life from myself and then King pursuing. 

King pursuing like my Jesus taught

Living life like my Jesus walked

Thinking thoughts like my Jesus thought

My life??  My Jesus bought.

So my life is not my own.

Hearing this Holmes?  This Earth is not my home.

I’m living my life as a Jesus Clone.

Don’t get out thought and shoot your mouth off

Pride low, take it slow, patience followed by self control

Sand or rock on your floor, both houses got the storm

Follow Matthew Chapter 4, Cloned like Jesus that’s for sure!

Gimme that bass. Gimme that trebble treble.

Gimme that For Today.  I love my heavy metal.

Gimme my community.

Who is constantly encouraging.

Glor-i-fying the one creating

The air I’m inhaling.

(voice prompt saying “Breathe in now!”)

Are you staying with me?

I’m spittin’ truth not fairy tail.

God is not some hippie.

He’s no where near frail.

“Tripping you must be.” (done in a Yoda voice)

If you think a wuss can produce stars when they exhale.

Life is full blast, fully loaded like a 9

Haters full blast, Keep a Christ centered mind

Media full of lust, “take a look at this hottie!!!”

Bones can’t be lustful in a Christ centered body.

Cameras stay clicking.

Stars keep us smitten.

Satan’s constricting.

He keeps on tricking.

I’m making my stand!!!

I’m supposed to be different!!!

Well I guess your in charge now.

I’m sorry God, I don’t mean to yell.

It feels like everything is slipping from me and falling in the pits of Hell.

I’m terrible with confrontations.

Hate seems to be my motivation.

When you called to love your creation, did you mean in every situation?

Dying to myself is what I claim to stand on.

While lying to my Paul and acting like there is not a problem.

And you say hating someone like I went off and shot them.

Well that means I am the worst, all time low if bad is the bottom.

Sky scrapers said it best when they painted the sky in navy and orange.

This sort of death occurring in your face deserves a ticket, better yet, a warrant.

War waging ants killed the queen while searching for the head.

A leader, guide, or shepherd is someone who chooses to die in my stead.

Listening to The Used and Thinking About Lions

Have you ever seen the movie called the Truman show?  It stars Jim Carrey, and I can honestly say that I laughed through out most of the movie.  There is one specific scene that I recall from time to time.  While sitting in the bathroom Truman, Jim Carrey’s character, has drawn on the mirror with what I believe was shaving cream. He has made the reflection in the mirror appear to be an astronaut.

Travel down this road with me for a moment. What if there was a real life that existed in the reflection?  What if that person in the reflection had a world, reality, and life just as real as mine and yours.  One could make the argument that the “other side” of the mirror could very well be an astronaut.  We would have no way to know that that other life was faking it. The helmet was there; all the surroundings appeared to fit the role.  However, we know that the real person on “our side” of the mirror was just a poor imitation of a space explorer.  We could have reached out and drawn anything on that mirror, and the astronaut would be no more. 

Let’s play a game.  (Imagine that said in the creepy voice from the movie Saw.) I want you to go into the kitchen grab a cup of water, head to the bathroom, clean off the mirror, grab some shaving cream, and then do your best to make the “other side” of you a lion.  I found it helpful for me to stay as still as possible and to start with the mane.  If you need drawing tips you can come over to my house and watch “Simba” AKA “The Lion King” (Jordan prefers the first title.)  You can also draw some other animals, trees, or maybe a sunset.  You can draw anything that will add to your alternate self becoming a lion. 

Are you happy with the lion on the other side of a mirror?  If someone were to look at the reflection that was coming from the glass of the mirror would they know you were a lion?  Do you think they would call you a lion?  Whenever you leave the mirror will people still know that your goal is to look like a lion?  Nope, why is that?  The reason is because all of the evidence of you wanting to be a lion is left on the mirror.  That mirror holds all of your works, efforts, and time trying to achieve your goal. 

Your reflection will never change until you change what you look like personally.  Manipulation of the mirror itself was the thing that was making you look like a lion.  When we as Christ followers want to look like Christ we need to quit changing the environment around, and we need to start focusing on changing ourselves to look like Christ.  Once Christ does the changing in our hearts, lives, and “appearance”, that is when our reflection will truly change. 

Absorb

Absorb.  When you think of this word what is the image, action, or idea that pops into your mind? When I think of the action of something being absorbed I tend to always resort to the sponge method.  I visualize this method with me standing at the sink in our house watching John wash dishes while I am drying them.  He takes a sponge and sticks it in the soapy water and what happens while he sticks the sponge under water is a squeezing process. That piece of cloth is being held in hot water and compressed at all sides.  This is just an understood part of the sponges’ job because if you want to get the most amount of action out of the sponge you have to fill this tool’s voids with different substances besides the normal air.  That sponge comes out dripping with nice, clean, and useful soapy water because it was dipped, submerged, and surrounded by that stuff at the point of great compression.

That sponge has no choice but to put out what is put into it when it was squeezed.  There is no chance for the sponge to say “Hey, I know I was dipped in motor oil, but I really want this fluid inside of me to come out as Diet Coke”.  That sponge is in a way controlled by it’s surrounding when it is compressed, and I honestly don’t think that there is any hope for the sponge to ever change that.  If that sponge is dipped into water it is going to put out water; oil puts out oil; coke puts out coke; acid put outs acid.  However, the main action I want to examine in this analogy is not the act of what is put out, but I want us to look at the act of squeezing. 

The bridge I want us to build here is correlating the sponge to ourselves.  So if the sponge=a human then what does the liquid=?  How about this:

Sponge=Human            So        Liquid=Actions

If this does not seem fair then you should go ahead and quit reading because this will be an “understood” relationship from this point on.  I will explain my reasoning in detail, but if this is too much of a stretch to read on I will not be offended at all. 

            Something that I struggled with from the moment I started following Christ at the age of 17 was living a balanced life.  When a time of trial would come along I would almost always resort to actions that were not at all the way Christ acted.  Well can you blame me?!  It is really hard to grow up and go from living in sin, getting instant gratification, having a weird home life, and being abused by your step dad; then all of a sudden meeting Christ face to face and being commanded to live like him without having a strong daily example to lead you.  Just a side note:

Strong Daily Example  =Dad

            I am making a point here, not excuses.  I knew what I was doing was morally, ethically, and even biblically wrong.  However, what I did not know, believe, or consider was that the actions to make me feel better were in reality leading me down a path making me feel worse.  That path I was going down was leading me to my hell here on earth.  (“My hell here on Earth” blog is coming soon.)  That path was paved with the actions I would excrete whenever I was going through a tough time.  I never started acting out in unmoral, unethical, or terrible ways until I felt squeezed (around the age of 12). This squeezing process is what helped me to identify myself as an individual, musician, and human.  When I found that identity I pretty much stuck to it through out my life until I was 17.  Everybody knew me the same, and I would still say that everybody still knows me the same.  If you were to ask one person from the town I was raised in about me the story would probably not differ much from the other people in town.  So it is safe to say that the squeezing process is what helped me figure out what filled my life, helped other people know me, and defined me as a person.  People don’t watch when your life is normal.  That is why shows like Jersey Shore, The Hills, The Apprentice (GO CLINT!!!), or any other high drama reality show exist.  People like watching people being squeezed, and then they identify that person by their actions when life is going nuts.  I also am a firm believer that you get to know a person best when they are at their worst.  I believe that because it holds true in my life. 

Tough Times=Squeezing

You see, my hell I once lived in here on Earth is the only hell I will ever experience.  I do not have to put up with the pain, separation from God, or destruction that exists here in this fallen world.  That sentence is in the correct tense.  I can experience true freedom while alive here on Earth through Christ.  However, my life was not always a life of contentment like it is now.  I had to wake up for months in a row to a person that hated himself, treated himself like crap, and found joy in his own destruction.  None the less, now by simply dying to myself everyday and letting Christ take control of my life, I get to experience a taste of Heaven day in and day out.  What does it mean to die to self?  Well it could mean tons of things, but I will tell you how I live this out.

Whenever I pray, read scripture, or pursue God through serving Him or other people I am excreting something incredible from my life (sponge).  Try and think of the water, oil, Diet Coke, or acid that we talked about coming out of the sponge earlier.  I picture heavenly things pouring out of my sponge when I am living like Christ.  I don’t always feel like swimming around in the type of liquid (or those type of actions).  When life is crummy for Christ followers it is really tough on them to be obedient and not live for instant gratification.  We see people who are “happy” in the media and we buy the path to happiness that they sell us.  Those heavenly pictures coming out my sponge look completely different than what the media sells me, but I admit I still fall for the trap everyday.  When I choose to let the actions of Christ replace the actions that me as a sinful human want to trust in, I die to myself. These Heaven images I mentioned earlier include stuff like forgiveness for others, listening to people, racism being trampled in the US, feeding the hungry, helping the hurting, the Texas Rangers winning the World Series, Jerry Jones selling the Cowboys to Nolan Ryan, or Lecrae signing ISEI to be an artist for Reach Records.  (Ok so maybe more heavenly than those last few, but you get the point.)  You have to remember what I just stated a few paragraphs before this one, the squeezing process is the part I want to highlight.

So when I am squeezed, I end up with true joy when the liquid (liquid=actions) I choose to be submerged in to be submerged in, surrounded by, or controlled with is the same substance or liquid (liquid=actions) that came out of the sponge that we call Jesus Christ.  If I want to end up with true happiness then the only way I have found is this: The actions of Christ have to be the actions that I mimic whenever I am squeezed, or going through tough times.  The only way for a sponge (human) like me to put out liquid (actions) like Christ in times of compression is to be submerged in Christ’s blood first. 

I am the new starting pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Honoring God when your life is going good is like playing for the Yankees. What if your life what not going good?  What if your life could not compare to the Yankees’ successful years of pitching, fielding, hitting, and coaching?  It’s easy to claim peace, freedom, or victory when you are on top of the world, but what if you were the starting ace for the Pittsburgh Pirates?  Could you stare down a long season of baseball?  A season where you know that you don’t have any hitting, fielding, or coaching backing you up?

            So far these past two weeks I feel like the Pirate’s starting ace (If you read that sentence with a slur in your voice the last word could sound like two different words and either of those will work for how I feel).   Honoring God is a calling placed on my life.  That calling does not change with how I feel.  Do I believe that God is lesser of a being because I failed a class, missed a football game, broke up with my girlfriend, or am having a sucky day?  Forget your pity party and sucky days, and let’s look at scripture for a moment.  Go Read 1^st Kings 1:1-2:2.

            King David was having a terrible time.  People were trying to put words in his mouth, actions in his life, and hold him accountable.  He decided to act justly and stick to his calling in life.  Honoring God was what this man’s life was all about.  Everything that he was in control of (this included ruling all of Israel) was in complete surrender to God.  IT WAS ALL ABOUT GIVING GOD THE CONTROL, GLORY, AND HONOR.  Even when these sucky things were going on honoring God was number one on his list.  Even when he was taking the mound for the Pirates on opening day, David was choosing to be all about honoring God. 

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

Wondering around aimlessly is something that people without a purpose do. How do I know this? Simple, I wondered around aimlessly for a long time. When I found a purpose in life my days acquired a goal. Once I had a goal, I also then found motivation. Once motivation was conceived, along came determination.
My end goal is to be like Christ. I think it is safe for me to say that Christ is my GOAL not my motivation. I received my motivation when I first experienced Christ which is my goal. So my motivation is something that I experienced when I met my goal. So what did I experience? FREEDOM!! Freedom is my motivation. My motivation directly leads to my goal. So how do I stay determined? I think I have a good answer, but I want to hear yours first. Have at it...

I have been blessed by God in this. Everything in my life has the ability to seem crazy. When I feel as if I should be blown away God simply stays just as strong, constant, and loving as ever. My God exists in community with himself and me, and I aim to model that with my life. What miracle has God done in your life today? Do you feel safe in my God's arms??

It's a daily battle.
1531

Go Rangers

Beat Tampa Bay!

Woody and Jessie (Barne's style)

I love it!

Colossians 3:3

For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

The new Lecrae CD is coming out tonight at midnight.

If you do not know who Lecrae is then you should purchase some of his older music off of iTunes now, but if you want to wait then I am sure you will be impressed with the message on his newest album Rehab which drops tonight at midnight. 

I do not follow very many people closely.  I follow Christ.  My life is solely based off of how he lived while here on Earth.  However, I also study the patterns of one man day to day in person.  As mentioned, I have made a stand to only follow Christ, but I feel it is also necessary to have someone in my life that is chasing after Him as well for a real hands on reference point.  After studying under, being adopted by, and living with John Barnes I have also come to follow two other people, but the difference is I do not know them personally. 

Francis Chan and Lecrae are both men of God who impact me on a daily basis.  Lecrae is obviously the less known of the two, but I really don’t believe he minds.  Since around the age of 17 I have had the urge to minister in the city.  I never really knew how to put my thumb on reaching the inner cities, but since then I have come into contact with Lecrae’s ministry.  He has shown me a very impactful way to do so.  Even if you hate rap you can not help but to love the message that this man is preaching to a forgotten people.  Do yourself a favor and support this album.    

He is real...

God is real that is.  This transformation that is taking place in my life is only explained by a loving, holy, righteous, amazing, and real God.

For me to show you how real God is, I will first have to show you the opposite me.  I will simply do this by writing a detailed list of who I am not.  The list is as follows:

• I am not an older brother
• I am not a 8-5 business employee
• I am not concerned with others
• I am not a good boyfriend
• I am not a rapper
• I am not confident
• I am not forgiving
• I am not honest
• I am not happy
• I am not free
• I am not going to amount to anything
• I am not focused
• I am not stable

When I turned 17 I started to realize that this list existed.  I would not consider this a list at that time, but rather I would have considered it a lifestyle.  Also, I would not have considered these things negative in anyway.  In fact, I would have been drawn to, looked up to, and idolized people who thought they were a good thing.  I made a lot of friends who felt the same way, and we journeyed through life together throughout most of our teenage years.  When I think about how I ended up flat on my face I often wonder if they have been there yet.  I wonder if they found love in the same place I found it. 

You see, I started following Christ around the age of 17.  I would have told you I was a follower before then, but I was not.  I sit back and reflect on all of these things that I most definitely was not back then, and now I look at that list and say WOW!  God has done so much in my life!  I never once thought that a 20 year old pot head could live life like I am.  This list started to shift from the words you read to a new list when I turned 17.  This new list is who I was made to be, and who I enjoy being!  The only thing is that God made me to be this way!!!  God wants me to be:

• an older brother
• a 8-5 business employee
• concerned with others
• a good boyfriend
• a rapper
• confident
• forgiving
• honest
• happy
• free
• something
• focused
• stable

Luke 22:42

It is very weird to me that Christ wanted something different than God while he was praying this prayer.  As I sit here and think about Christians who will tell you that the Trinity is a lie, I finally have an argument that I don't believe can be matched.

When Christ is praying He does not pray to God as if referring to Himself.  He goes beyond that and even admits to not desiring the same thing that God desires.  I feel that if you are the same person as who you are talking to and you (the one talking) want a different thing than what you (the one you’re talking to) wants then that either makes you insane or else a different person.

Now since I feel this way, and I do not want to call Messiah insane, crazy, or schizophrenic I will instead say that I feel as if Yeshua had a separate desire than God at this time.  These two different desires make him a separate being in my opinion.

Do I feel as if Christ is God, yes!  Do I feel as if Christ is God the Father, no.  Do I feel as if His impact in any of our lives is lessened by him disagreeing with another part of the Trinity, no!  Do I feel as if Christ was wrong to disagree with God, no.  Christ never once showed an inkling of disobedience while here on Earth.  If he would have not taken the cross like They had planned sin would have occurred.  However, He would not have started disobeying when His mission was almost fulfilled.

I don’t know how theologically sound this argument is because I do not know that much about theology, but I am open to suggestions, ridicule, love, hate, or any type of conversation on this topic.  Let’s chat…

Luke 22:42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Idols (A post from one month ago at diedaily.tumbr.com)

I guess some days are easier than others.  I never really have bad days, but today has been tough walking through because of a list of reasons.  The list entails being ministered to by a homeless 16 year old girl last night, all the way to having very minimal communication with my girlfriend. 
The detailed list is as follows:
1.      Not living close to Heather (girlfriend)
2.      Walking through not being the YA intern anymore
3.      Having a brother get out of jail and not knowing how to handle it
4.      Curious and praying about attending a church plant in Keller, TX
5.      Meeting a 16 year old homeless girl
6.      Not being able to talk to Heather (dumb cell phone)
      Now, if I could change just one thing on this list it would be number 6.  You see, if I could just talk to Heather about 1-5 then I think that her voice could help soothe my emotions.  This presents a problem for me though.  If Heather can be the solution to my life whenever I am in need of some type of restoration, then what do I need Christ for?  I am not saying that I would ever sit at Heather’s feet and proclaim her to be equal or greater than Christ, but what I am saying is in the 2 short months of Heather and I falling in love I have made her an idol.  I have made it to where she can fix problems in my life, and I not only made her capable, I have entrusted her to do so on a few occasions. 
     
      God is very clear on what He thinks about His children worshiping idols.  I have taken a step back and feel as if I need to put my hand over my mouth.  The uncreated God who I have sworn my allegiance to handles idol worshiping with severe consequences.  Not only that, there is no way that Heather could ever “fix” anything in my life.  Please hear this: Heather is the best thing that has ever happened to me outside of salvation, and I plan on loving her and marrying her if that is what God has planned for our lives.  However, if I place her among the company of a God who breathes out stars, then I am setting her up to fail. 
     
      Now this is a hard day to walk through like I said before.  I will choose today to walk with my problems in the hands of a God that demands my worship.  It is not as if God is up in Heaven saying “worship me or die”, but His faithfulness, love, and power are so great that the only reaction to them is our surrender and obedience.  When we live a life based on surrender and obedience to Yahweh then I think we are living a life that worships God.  When my problems are surrendered to a God that breathes out stars then I start to realize that He has my best interest in mind.  Also, I start to realize that my day is getting easier. 
I have not said anything that is life changing, mainly because I have not shared any scripture.  What I have shared is a basic concept that we as Christians try to make difficult.  Sure, we can acknowledge Christ as our savior, but until we lean on Him for all of our needs we are actually worshiping idols, and we have not been saved from anything.